Choosing to live authentically can be a slow process and even a difficult step to take, but it can be the most rewarding conscious decision we can take. As previously mentioned in earlier posts, to live authentically, we must get to know ourselves because it allows us to show up as who we truly are, rather than through false identity or in our shadow.

Authenticity allows us to free our mind of unnecessary burden of trying to please others, live up to their expectations, be held back by fear of judgment and criticism and by any external validation. 

It also helps us focus on growing and evolving in our life, instead of having our energy drained by things outside of ourselves. We start to show up in life differently, no longer worrying about what we cannot control and redirect our energy in what we have control over-Ourselves. Naturally, we end up stepping into authenticity.

To live authentically, we can start by doing the following:

  Increase our Self-awareness

Self-awarness is the first step to stepping into authenticity. Because in order to start showing up in life as who we truly , after hiding ourselves behing masks, false identity, people pleasing or fears, we must be aware of old habits, beliefs, values, and behaviors in order to embrace the version of ourselves, and make necessary changes.

We also need to be mindlfull of how we have been seeing ourselves, so that we can start seeing who we are in this new way- our authentic self.

By reflecting on our core values, beliefs, passions, strengths, weaknesses, limitations, triggers , we can use them as guidance for our actions, behaviors, decisions and overall life direction. 

These values and beliefs are the foundation for building our character, who we are in our essence and at our cores. For instance, one person may hold a strong belief for high integrity, while another may value building harmony and peace. Either way, by understanding what is important to us, we start having a point of reference in who we want to become or show up as.

Our values and beliefs are the guiding forces in our life, to fall back on, whenever needed, in our daily life, for our short and long-term goals, or when we are facing difficult situations or decisions. 

Learn to Accept ourselves fully

We learn to acknowledge and accept all parts of ourselves, including our flaws, uniqueness, similarities, anomalies, qualities, skills, and imperfections because we understand that we are only a small drop of water in this big ocean of life. We stop pretending and start to live freely, accepting who we are, so we can start growing as an individual, giving ourselves the chance to improve.

We also see ourselves as multi-dimensional being, that has good or bad side, like anyone one else, but we choose to cultivate and grow ourselves on the good side rather than focusing on negativity and self-sabotaging.

Sometimes, other may misinterpret or misjudge our authenticity as arrogance or trying too hard to be someone else, but this should no longer bother us because after we have truly done the inner work from inside out and deeply know ourselves, we are less subject to these criticisms. Because we understand that this is part of accepting our authenticity.

Additionally, we become so focused on growing and bettering ourselves that anything that do not contribute to the growth, no longer matters. We also do not feel the need to explain ourselves or worry about things that we do not have control over- such as other’s opinions. Because when we get to know ourselves and accept ourselves, we become more discerning of information we absorb and evaluate what is helpful or resonate with us versus what is not.  

Embrace our Vulnerability

We start showing up as who we truly are, with our imperfections as we navigate life, by focusing on growth, rather than fears and worries, as they do not serve us. 

We can choose to start being vulnerable with those trusted individuals we connect with, rather than hiding behind a façade or a mask. That way, we connect with those people who truly can see and accept us for who we are instead of the false version of ourselves. The truth us if we connect with other by wearing a mask or trying to be someone else, we risk being hurt at the end, because we may not be able to sustain the false identity in the long run. 

Additionally, we also miss the opportunity to have genuine connection. Some people may ask how do we know who to be vulnerable with? Well, this is a process and as we start small by getting to know ourselves, we learn to listen to our own voice, emotions and feelings around others. This will become easy and an inner knowing as we learn to connect to our inner guide. 

Speak our Mind through honest communication

Authenticity allows us to speak freely and honestly, give our opinions without malice, feeling bad about, or the need to want to please others. 

As a result, we start to foster deeper, more genuine connections, rather than superficial approval. We speak with honesty, generosity, to be helpful or to uplift others, rather than to cause harm and hurt. Because we start to move from a healthy place rather than wounded or reactive place since we have done the inner work on ourselves, which allow us to express ourselves freely. For instance, I recall watching a video by Simon Sinek explaining that “Being Nice and being kind are not the same”. He further noted that while niceness is the performance, like a smile or a polite silence, and keep things comfortable; kindness is the action, that may not feel good at time, but maybe what is truly needed. For example, if you choose to give your honest opinion about something that may make someone else feel bad, but deep inside you know that truth maybe the kindness that is needed to help them grow, change, do or see the reality. 

When we practice speaking authentically, we become our true self, learn to stand up for ourselves, and forge open, honest and genuine connections with others. 

We choose to respond in situations and conversations, rather than react to other’s actions or societal pressure. This will also help build our self-esteem in the process.

Know and Set healthy Boundaries in our relationships

Setting healthy boundaries allows us to align ourselves with what really matters to us, as we start to prioritize our own needs, protect our space, time and energy, while reducing the tendency to people-please. It can be challenging to live in our truth if we allow everything from the outside word to enter our mind or space, as we will likely miss connecting with who we truly are in the inside or want to become, and risk being influenced by the wrong things. 

That is why discernment is key when we step into our authenticity. We start asking ourselves what align with our true, beliefs and values versus what is not, and act accordantly. 

Follow our Joy and interests without feeling guilty

 We choose to pursue activities that genuinely interest us, bring us joy and happiness, uplift our spirit, which helps uncover our purpose and discover about ourselves. We no longer need to just do things to please others, but we do them because it brings us joy and happiness, uplifting our spirit and align with our true self.

We also understand that this act helps our self-development and growth. Think about how many time you may have chosen not to pursuit an interest because of fear of criticism, failures or others reason. But now, through authenticity, you can move forward.

Choosing to live authentically may require us to be courageous as we stand firm in who we are or who we want to become. We now start to take a Pause before making decisions or taking actions because pausing ensure that we are aligned with our authentic self rather than our old self, who maybe acting out of old patterns.  

We can start small with baby steps by practicing being authentic in low-stakes situations or with trusted close friends first. Then, gradually, we get comfortable being ourselves in various situations. As a result, like anything in life, this process becomes easier and we naturally become who we truly are.  

We can start reflecting daily by asking questions such as “What did I do today that was true to me?”, “Where did I pretend?”, “How do I feel after that conversation or interaction?”, “How did I handle that situation?”, “How do I feel today? Is something happening or is my old pattern playing a role here?”, “How can I do better tomorrow?” Ect—

By doing daily reflection, we help ourselves stay grounded and on track toward our own growth, without being hard on ourselves. Remember, this is a process and it does not require us to be perfect, to be right or to be correct, rather, to learn to embrace who we are truly for ourselves, while working to improve to become the person who want to be- Our authentic self.

Finally, living authentically start by getting to know ourselves, accepting who we are fully and choosing to work with it all. The choice is always ours as to whom we want to become, cultivate within ourselves to be, and no one can do this for us.

 However, as we step into this new version of ourselves, we start to let go of fears and validation from outside ourselves as we fully embrace who we are or are becoming. And this action can only positively impact our self-esteem, overall well-being and happiness.